A Chinese Love Connection...?

My husband, Lars, and I went on a walk a couple months ago. Nanjing is so big and we’ve never taken the opportunity to just meander. Usually we are on scheduled outings to specific places. So we don’t get to see…everything else.

As we walked it was mostly the number of parks or just scenic sections that caught my eye. I’m a sucker for beauty and when I see it I usually reach for my camera, knowing full well that a camera never really captures the true loveliness.

As I admired these moments we came upon a sidewalk that was just lined, both sides, with hundreds of these 8 ½ x 11 inch boards/cards. On the right side these cards were colored pink with flowers 

and on the left the cards were blue with butterflies. 

I’ve seen something similar before and it turned out that it would just represent a butterfly or flower that you could buy, but these seem different. For one thing, they have a lot more Chinese written on them…

Once Lars takes a moment to look them over he hesitantly says that he thinks they are date cards. I was confused. I ask him what he means by “date cards”. So he tells me what’s written on them: A person's name, birthday, height, education, family background, hobbies, interests, accomplishments, number of times they’ve been married, if they have any children and what they are looking for in a spouse.  REALLY? Oh and don't forget, at the bottom is the phone number to call if you "interested" in this person.  

Now you may think, "That's not a big deal. Seems similar to our Internet dating sites", (you must understand that even with how fast China is excelling I still see people sweeping the sidewalks with homemade brooms of reeds and bamboo.)

But if you take a look at these pictures, these aren't children looking for dates and potential mates. These are parent's looking for potential daughter- or son-in-laws!

When I asked a Chinese friend about it they said, as naturally as if I asked her why she wears a coat in the winter, that Chinese men and women in their 20's are so busy with their education and/or career that they just don’t have the time to look for “the one” so they let their parents help...

It’s like an optional arranged marriage…? 

I had to laugh to myself because most people I know of marriageable age in America would just DIE if their parents ever tried to "set them up" on a date. 

But really? Would it be that bad? You pick a "candidate" from the Packet 'O' Potentials that your parents have already approved...Seems like everyone's happy... :)

Spring

A Chinese Christmas Miracle

Wow, Christmas has come and gone. I was actually surprised to see so many Christmas decorations…but that’s where the surprises stopped.  Other than those decorations the holiday was completely hollow. Don’t get me wrong we attended many activities that claimed to be Christmas celebrations, but they just didn’t deliver that feeling…that “reason for the season” sentiment.

I went in search of such holiday cheer when I attended a gig LCD was playing Christmas music at: a pretty “hoity-toity” venue should know how to convey the Christmas spirit, right? Wrong. Some of the worst “Christmas” trees I have ever seen! Maybe they were “trying” to go the Charlie Brown Christmas tree route which I could have easily forgiven but then throw in six scantily clad Chinese teenage girls jumping all over one guy dressed as “Santa” all while playing “Santa Claus is coming to town”…I just wasn’t “feeling” it.

The closer Christmas Day came the more concerned I grew! Where were the extra love, happiness and joy found only during this time of year? My frustrations hit their climax on Christmas Eve. A group of us had another opportunity to attend what the Chinese feel was a Christmas celebration. Again with the inappropriate dancing; belly dancers this time. This is supposed to be a Christmas show for the family!?! I don’t know about you but nothing says Happy Birthday Jesus like boobs and butt shaking. I’d seen enough. I sat playing games on Lars’ Ipod the rest of the night.

I was resigned to utter despair. All that was left until Christmas day was a crowded bus ride home and a lumpy mattress. Nothing could save me now. That was until someone started singing…I think it started as a joke but turned into exactly what I needed.  We began with such jolly, upbeat songs as “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” and “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” but became quiet and reverent with songs of “Silent Night” and “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear”. It was AMAZING! We sang every verse and were even able to sing harmony thanks to our iPod Hymn applications:) Buddy the Elf was right when he said, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” I had found what I was looking for. It was where it always is…even in China.

We love and miss our beloved family and friends! We think about you often and wish the best for you at the beginning of this New Year.

Love,
Spring & Lars Shurilla

Burrrr!